For the week something is about to happen
Ninety minutes of deep work, tailored to your personal experience. This is for the person who has an immediate challenge related to emotional relapse, or exposure to places or people associated with the trauma.
We name what is actually happening, decide what you will and will not say, validate your feelings, recalibrate to self-appreciation, and create a pre-emptive shield against your potential critics.
You leave with one page to take in with you.
When this is the right thing
And if the room has already happened — if you came out of it replaying every word — the ninety minutes works just as well backwards. We do the same thing in reverse: name what actually happened, put down what was never yours to carry, and decide what you do next. Tell me which it is when you write, and I will shape the time around it.
If what is happening to you is more chronic, and you want to continue your recovery, we can start with the free thirty-minute call instead — it is linked at the bottom of this page.
Named accurately, in the words that fit it, and what the pattern predicts will happen next. Most people arrive having never heard it described, and having half-decided they are imagining it.
You cannot prepare for something you have not been allowed to name.
The thing they want from that room is a reaction they can write down. It is why the provocation usually arrives shortly before the meeting, and why the meeting often has no agenda.
We decide in advance what you answer, what you decline to answer in the moment, and what you say instead of the sentence you will want to say.
What to put in writing before you go in, what to ask them to put in writing, and how to keep a record that is factual rather than wounded — because the wounded version is the part that gets used.
Afterwards I write it up and send it to you — one page, not a transcript:
It is yours. Print it, take it in, read it in the car beforehand.
Before you book
This is not legal advice and I am not a lawyer. I will not tell you what your rights are, read your contract, or tell you whether you have a case. If you need that, you need an employment solicitor or your union, and the sooner the better.
It is not therapy and I am not a clinician. I will never diagnose you.
I cannot come with you, and I cannot tell you what the outcome will be.
What this is: ninety minutes with someone who knows the pattern, spent on the specific room you are walking into.
If you are being followed, watched, or disturbed at home, that is a crime and it is beyond what this can help with. iamstillchosen.com/safety lists who to contact, and is honest about what it cannot do.
Ninety minutes
Take the ninety minutes and you can book your time straight away. I will send you five short questions within the hour, so we do not spend the first twenty minutes catching up. If you would rather ask something before you pay, write to me instead — I read every one myself.
Monday to Friday. I read every one of these myself, usually within a few hours during the working week. If you write at the weekend I will answer first thing Monday — and if your date is Monday, write anyway and say so in the subject line, and I will move things.